Every year, I hear the same thing over and over again…New Year, New Me. I, myself, used to say that every New Years Eve and with friends, I’d write down all of my new years resolutions. I say “All” and “Resolutions” because for some reason, I really wanted to keep up with the rest of “the beautiful people”. Which meant that I wanted to be thinner, eat better, start taking up yoga, get a better job and have more money, travel the world, get fit and show off my abs, have the best relationship in the world, get straight A’s, have a great social life, become Mother Teresa, and sleep all the time.
I mean, come on. At one point something’s gotta give right?
Well I gave in this year. This year, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my reality is not completely in sync with my wish list.
My old resolutions: I want to find a better job and make more money so I can buy more pretty things and travel around the world and buy a car and have my own place.
Reality check: I have more than enough “things”. So much so, that I currently have no space for most of it and it just keeps piling up in my Dad’s tiny basement. I honestly am not missing of anything, I have food, a shelter, clothes on my back and more entertainment than is actually healthy. (Netflix, Wii, computer, cell phone, TV, etc.)
I also decided last year, as you’ll notice with the previous posts, that I’m continuing my education to eventually secure a better job and be able to sustain myself later on. I could have kept with the previous job I had and continued down that path with a decent salary. But to be honest, it wasn’t what I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. I’m now in University and working part time at a shoe store. (Just as a side note, if we calculate this yearly, I took about a 25 thousand pay cut)
I currently make just enough money to pay rent and have the essential items such as food and transportation. I don’t have a car, so I bus and I’m okay with that. (This however doesn’t mean that I don’t want to curse whenever it’s pouring, snowing heavily or when it’s late at night)
So as much as I’d love to have a billion bucks and a rock star job, I understand that I need to be patient and go through the motions like most students in their 1st year at University do. School does come first.
My old resolutions: I want to have someone to wake up next to every morning and have the greatest relationship in history and never fight and always do activities together.
Reality check: HA!
Let me explain how this one goes down in my life. I’m currently living 500 kilometers away from my significant other. I mean, as much as Skype and Facetime and phone calls and letters are a blast, it doesn’t replace having him snuggle up closer to me in the morning and have him kiss the nape of my neck to wake me up. Although it’s a reality on some days when we visit each other, I don’t live with him and it’s something I know won’t necessarily happen any time soon as we both have things we need to get sorted and finished. (School for example) We argue and bicker like we’ve been married for 45 years and I love my alone time where I can wind down from a long day or if I have a lot on my mind, so always being together is a no-no.
One thing that I’ve come to recognize and appreciate though, is that I am currently in the greatest relationship in history. Mine anyway. I’ve never connected to anyone like I do to him, and I’ve never been happier with anyone else. But I didn’t really work towards that, it sort of just happened. We just click. So I’m not sure if that counts as a completed resolution.
Beauty and Health
My old resolutions: Get thin, eat better and become prettier.
Reality check: HA HA HA! This one deserved a triple one. I mean this is probably the oldest one in the book. And as much as I still long to be Angelina Jolie or have the body of a body builder, I’m done giving myself grief over it. I’m done looking in the mirror and telling myself “Maybe tomorrow you’ll be more beautiful, maybe tomorrow you’ll be thinner if you skip this one meal.” I am so completely done at trying to diet and to eat better. I will damn well eat what I damn well please, thank you very much. I’m finally at a stage in my life where I’ve accepted who I am and what I look like, and what I look like is BEAUTIFUL. My entire 147 pounds of curves, muscles, stretch marks, C cup boobs and flat butt are beautiful!
I absolutely love this quote from Tina Fey
My old resolutions: I want to travel the world and see it all
Reality check: I can’t afford it right now, but that doesn’t mean that eventually I won’t do it. It just won’t be at this very moment in time. So I’m not going to dwell on it.
That’s exactly what I plan on doing this year. I’m going to own who I am and discover more things about myself. (No, I’m not going to pull a Julia Roberts, Eat, Pay Love, kind of thing, I’m just going to go with the flow.) I’m going to take more opportunities, work hard in school, read more books, have great conversations with my loved ones, make new friends along the way and cherish every moment.
What will your resolutions be?